Monday, September 26, 2016
Dear Grandma Lynn,
I miss you, grandma, I don't know why you left so soon. I have so much to share. I just turned 13. It feels indescribable. I love it a lot. It would be better if you were here. Anyways, Mom got married to an amazing stepdad. We have Ups and Down but at the end of the day, i wouldn't trade it for anything. I love my sisters and my brother Kelsey has grown so fast that it makes me emotion all over again, I'm proud of him. He's so handsome and talented but he is a brat. He is the best brother I could've asked for. Hannah has grown so pretty. I love her more than anything. Yes, she can be the world's biggest brat. I still love her. Always will. Maya... I can't start with how pretty she is. She is amazing too I love her food. We've had differences but still. Dakota? Not much to say. My dad was married then got divorced, I don't see two of my brothers anymore. It's depressing I cry a lot about it more than anyone could imagine. Anywayyyyssss, I started basketball a while back, It was the only thing that could get you off my mind. I enjoy it a lot now. It's my favorite thing ever, well other than music and writing. OH MY GAWDSH. I'm in love with this singer. Shawn Mendes. I cannot explain how much he means to me. DO NOT LET ME CONTINUE. Also got a crush on someone <3. I got to go to Hawaii last summer. It was amazing, The views were the best, I finally got to go parasailing. It was amazing, It felt like I was flying away from all my fears forgetting everything, Not focused on anything but the present. It was the best feeling. Now I know how you feel. With your angel wings flying around above. Back to me. I love all my teachers this year. Also, my friends are literally my life. I wouldn't trade them to have Hillary and trump out of the election (actually I don't know yet ;) JKJKJKJK ) That was mean of me. I love Lorna, Willow, Heaven, Reagan and Corinna so so so much. I could go on and on but I want you to go back to flying above everyone and being happy. See you in the next letter
Thursday, September 22, 2016
I hate the way people say your never good enough, think about it would you tell the younger version of you that, You hate way your body is shaped? You're too Fat? You hate your freckles? Or you hate your eye color? Your eyebrows are not perfect? Or your Acne is horrible? I might sound cheesy but I'm about to be honest, I look around and I hear the way everyone hates on themselves, But in reality any Guy/Girl would be lucky to have you. Each and every one of you are beautiful. We have Flaws. Nobody would complain about how Tall or Short or The way you look. I see the way others tear others down hoping for satisfaction to themselves. Deep down you feel guilt you look up and watch them walk away while they are dying inside or they are crying already. Your heart breaks just a little bit more. Self destruction could ruin the world. Self destruction could end life's. The way they hurt themselves be cause of too much hate. I looked around and I heard "I'm Ugly." or "Look at me I'm ugly" But in reality people look at you and see the beauty god has created. Everyone is perfect. Self Destruction could end someday, start friendships that last a life time. Stopping Self destruction could make you happier. People continue with "My Stretch marks are ugly." "The bags under my eyes are too dark." You don't realize the same innocent kid inside you that you said was beautiful is still you. Your still you. That same young beautiful kid is inside you. You are Beautiful, everything about you is PERFECT. It always will be. I sound cheesy but everything what I said could effect you and the way you look at yourself. Stop being destructive and be confident.
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Right now all I see is the blackness of the seas, The darkness so deep I couldn't breathe, I knew that moment I knew how I fell in and drowned.
I saw the way the others suffer beneath, their own tears, I see the scars they leave on there arm every time they match that blade to their skin.
I see the way the tears stream down their faces as they look around dying from thirst, confused not knowing how to deal with themselves.
I see it all
I see the way the others among us smile, but as deep down inside they are crying begging for help as they try to escape the blackness of their hearts.
I see the way their heart breaks every time someone makes a promise then breaks it, leaving all those memories behind
I see the way they feel emptiness at two in the morning finding their way back to the blade letting each drop of blood count how many people hurt them.
I see it all
I see the long sleeves on summer days to hide the scars on their wrist from the battle their emotions made confusing that person
I see the way they push away each person that enters their life but in reality they want that person in their life. They don't want them to leave
I see the way they stare into blank space slowly breaking little by little while no one notices and continues their daily life's
I see it all
I see the way there eyes get droopier and droopier because they can't sleep, while every memorie that hurts replays in their mind
I see the way the memories haunt a tortured soul, A soul that is ripped to little pieces, Peices shattered with sharp peices, edges that stab a broken heart
I see the way the heart can never be healed the mind they are again lost in, memories that caused all these broken hearts
I see the way they stay trapped in the past lost in memories
Thursday, September 15, 2016
Those moments when you
unknowingly give your heart to the one you know you love, The feeling, that feeling of those butterflies in the very pit of your stomach almost tickling your soul, until they ease in your mind...
The smile which graces upon the world, reaching your eyes when they are near. The glow you show for all mankind to see, which brightens when they touch you with that gentle rush. The warmth and protection you would feel as you snuggle closer into their arms. The places you share every single moment together. The joy you give each other to make sure you are both pleased evenly. The nights you two laugh at randomness, just to see each other smile.
The day you could watch T.V, not saying a single peep. Yet one makes sure the one who is near is Comfortable, The holidays you make a toast of white juice, over the candle that flickers for you guys. The three words you utter occasionally, making time stop and stand still. To never feeling alone because the hearts beat for each other. The time tears only fall when forever is placed on a finger...The dreams you two shared for each other; to bid a future that harnesses true love
That Is Love
The anxiety that something is wrong, when words are no longer enough for each other to say, the harsh words that leave the mouth replacing kind words and scare the butterflies away. The end of smiles as frowns and lines of worry are born.
The glow that dies into depression, as your skin turns pale, and your eyes lose there shine. The coldness on your back as they move to the opposite end of the bed. The separation you want so you get some time alone so they can search for new memories. The gift ends because the care and love is no longer there. The nights you spend in completely different reason. The days you watch TV on the ground as othe other is on the bed browsing the computer.
The holidays spent away at a family's house, wondering what the other is doing. These lovely three words die off into three other words. The heartbeat which was strong once upon a time, now beats painfully slow each night, The time throughout the day tears fall for no reason. That comes with nightmares that plague you till your become ill.
That is Heartbreak