Monday, November 14, 2016
So I was scrolling through my suggest youtube music. I found one that interested me (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7U50sKgdp4) I clicked on it and cried listening to his voice, it's so soft and calm it makes me feel safe. It made me think about everything including life. I finally wasn't confused. It was his voice that made me happy, made me who I am. It helped me think about my friends, helping me realize who are my true friends. Half of them not true. I started listening to other covers, he makes the song have a different meaning, He makes them happier, safer, and more understandable. here is a few examples
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
I felt your hands touch mine so gently, The butterflies in the pit of my stomach, The scramling for words and the uncontroable heartbeat the Soft and warm or was it just me everything stopped for a second until time had split us apart, I felt tingles for as long as I could remember I feel them still to this moment I wish I could say the words in my heart that are currently unspoken, still so much ahead of us, many years. Those years would go by faster with you, it seems that without you by my side holding my hand they go by slower, I felt like I had found my Mister Right until the day I dread when you are not there. I dread the day when you say you don't love me and never did. For now we may not be together now, we might never be together in the future but what hurts about being friends or even more? I'm still young so are you we are unpredictable. Maybe things would change maybe not now but in the future at some point. I'm trying to say I love you.
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
I know you might not see this, or even bother replying, but its worth a shot. I love you. I spend all my time watching interviews and edits. Your voice gives me a bit of hope. When I see you smile, I can't help but smile. Your looks aren't all that matter, I love your weird, weird personality but honestly same. I have both albums, I believe that it may not be now but in the future, I might actually meet you. I may not be able to meet you now but that doesn't stop me, I have one but smile. Your looks aren't all that matter, I love your weird, weird personality but honestly same. I have both albums, I believe that it may not be now but in the future, I might actually meet you. I may not be able to meet you now but that doesn't stop me, I have one of the magazines you are in. I know a lot of people say they like you for your looks which get on my nerves. I know you aren't here physically but mentally and in my heart, you will remain. I cannot begin to express how I feel. When my friends tease me by saying you suck I honestly get so so so upset, I have had have people call me names. But to be honest I did not care because you were still there, somehow. I don't know how to put anyone else in your position because it would be a hard. You are so much more than what you are on the internet. No one can make two of you, you're so funny, kind, special, important, talented, beautiful 😂, anyways you are the reason I have a heart. You make me happy, I have been through a lot, these past few years. My parents divorced (because of me...that's not the point), my brother was cured (sorta...I don't know) he goes in for chemo but he used have leukemia. I don't see 3 of my brothers. I see my older brother You inspire me. When I'min my room planning to kill myself or wanting to do self-harm, I just start singing "A little too much" then it instantly makes me happy again. I wouldn't trade anything for you. Without you, I would be heartless. You are my heart. You are my mind. Without you, I would be failing everything. I love you. Everything that you are, Everything thing, What you are now, What you will be in the future, and everything else. Buttttttttt I have to say "Daddy" though. Anyways if I ever met you I would be the one to cry, the one who doesn't want to go, the one who would go through anything for you if I could. I always have ya on my mind, you never leave. When I wake up, you are there, when I go to school you are there, even when I go to bed. You never leave my mind. It takes a lot to realize that I love you SO much it hurts. I cry sometimes. I pretend to be a singer because I want to be like you. You are my hopes and my dreams. It is a lot to take in and I know that But never ever EVER give up please....for me, for every other girl and boy that likes you. I love you muffin boy.
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