Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Questions We Wont Know

How many times do we cry
before someone admits they aren't saying bye
How many tears do we save
before a tidal wave comes and destroys all that is around
How many screams does it take
before someone says it will all be ok
Do we constantly
try but never can seem to fly away
Do we constantly
fall like a broken heart does
How many broken hearts look at the
stars and count how many shine brighter than the others
Or is it just society
stuck in a dark hole where are feelings get sucked in
Is it just reality for so many people?
Probably a reality for so many people who want to escape
into a dream land
But these are just questions
That will never be answered

Thursday, January 19, 2017


I see a problem,
a beautiful beautiful mistake waiting to happen
a storm of rage upon
a rainbow in the ending
the perfect story that is only pretending
a lion in his cage waiting to be let go
to release his anger upon those
a heart trapped in a chest
trying to beat its way through
eyes in an ocean
trying to see through the darkness
a new story waiting to begin
trying to write every word along the way
a voice that is hidden
trying to sing his way through
I see a problem
a boy so beautiful
his lion was released
his heart still beating
his eyes shine bright
his story that began
his voice already sung
in a one thousand page story
now tell me
tell me how a problem so perfect
be something you could fall in love with
but please my perfect problem tell me what has to be done

Monday, January 9, 2017


Breathe they said
Breathe was once a suggested option
But can we really breathe
Breathe all the toxic air
Breathe the air that poisons your lungs
Making it that you can’t breathe
You can’t breathe
Listen to them
Hear their point of view
But can you listen
Listen to the words that hurt
Listen and Believe
Believe they said
Believe in what’s not there
Believe in the strength that pulls
Options that constantly hurt
You know how each person has a hurt
The hurt that goes away for a while
But eventually it comes back to torture you
That’s the way everything is to me
But honestly
Can you do things if they all hurt
Hurt you?
But not only hurt you
But kill you
That kills you inside
Can you really do those things?  

Battle scars

(From my brother’s gages point of view, Glad to hear you are doing better I love you)

I lay awake at nights
Counting the stars before morning
I once heard that each star represents a dead person
What if I was one of those stars
I already have tubes
Tubes in my heart
Pumping my blood while they stick needles in my back
Poison in my body
Fighting to keep me alive
The scars forming
The bump on my chest
The bump where my battle scars show
No more tight shirts
No more shirtless swimming times
People stare
No more hair
No strength left
Shrinking, Becoming lighter
Pills, Drugs, Liquids
I was once called a baby
Called a baby for having no hair left
I didn’t ask for these words
I didn't ask to have Leukemia
Those words replay in my mind
I didn’t ask to be dead
I wanted to be happy
That was all I asked…
But these battle scars...
Stay forever...
Maybe I am stronger
Stronger inside
Stronger because Nobody would trade spots with me
When I’m older I’ll tell my kids
It will be okay
You are stronger than you think
While I cover my battle scar with my hand