Thursday, April 13, 2017

Mistakes


We all seem to make them
Some are good and some are bad
They say you learn from them
But we keep to make them
We hide under a smile in public
We allow those who walk by us to think
"Oh they seem perfect"
"Oh well at least you don't make these many mistakes"
But deep down below there is still a child
Who is lying to your face
Lying about being happy and Ok
Whoops
That was a mistake
It was all a mistake to cry to bed at night
To add a million scars you already have
To smile
When you weren't supposed to
To not ask for help
To not try hard enough to become a better person
But when you do finally ask for help
When you finally let go
Release it all
Mistake again.
"You are just seeking attention"
"You are lying"
"I don't care"
"Why are you telling me again?"
Soon you crawl back into that dark hole
You go back
To all that is black
You pretend again
Lie again
Sooner or later you constantly
Zone out
Stare into space and break little by little
No one sees
But inside you are dying
Hell
You are already dead
Your tears are dried up
You are not able to create
The production of water
That comes from your eyes
It just stops one day
Your heart stops
Your blood stops pumping
Your mind stops functioning
Your body stops moving
You are suddenly 6 feet under the earth
People wonder
"What Happened"
"Why did she do this"
"I wonder why she would do something like this"
"She was perfect. Why?"
Except for the people she
Opened up to
Vented to
Released unto
They know why.
They just didn't care
They ignored you and pretended it was all a lie
They acted like
You weren't worth it
That it was all a joke until
Someone dies
It's all a joke until
It's too late
Hell
It was all a mistake for them
You weren't the mistake
Their mind was
Their heart was
Not them in general
Just the way they thought
The way they cared
That was the mistake
NOT YOU.

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